writing blog
Saturday, October 08, 2011
The one who sits next to me
I'm student at fifth semester in Uhamka. I class is my classroom. there are thirty six students including me. Now, I'm gonna tell you about my friends who sits next to me. She is Siti Mutmainah or Ina. Ina has many hobbies. There are cooking, reading novel, cycling, browsing, and watching movie. In this occasion, I'd like to write about her most hobby. That hobby is watching movie. Ina really likes to watch movie, especially horror and thriller. Almost every twice a week she goes to cinema. Recently, Ina has watched two movies, the tittle are Insidious and Final Destination 5. Ina loves to watch horror and thriller movies, for it can stimulates her adrenaline.
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It's clean blog:-) It's nice u mark the TS and concluding sentence. Well, I wonder why u state about Ina's hobby. Since ur TS is about a friend who sits next to u, ur concluding sentence should be about why u feel comfy sitting next to her. Ur TS is not that clear as u write another sentence which leads to be the TS too. Have a look at these 2 sentences of yours "Now, I'm gonna tell you about my friends who sits next to me". "In this occasion, I'd like to write about her most hobby. That hobby is watching movie". The latter is more appropriate to be the TS as u write a lot about her hobby.
ReplyDeletePlease use different type of sentences next time as u use simple sentence most. No problem with grammar so far, and that's a good point:-) Can't stand to wait ur better writing!
hehehe thankyou miss for correct me .. i'll improve my writing product as i can .. :D
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